Narcissist

I was looking up to nothing
Succumbing to the ice in your blue eyes
Teeth chattering and fingers blackening
It was all about you
But maybe you would warm to me
I thought and prayed in vain
Emotionally tied to the tracks
While you were the train
But eventually
I got away
Lived to tell the tale another day
And you hide inside
Hoping your compliments
Would complement
This wave of sanity that I am having
This spark in time
I am happy
Without you

in another…

In another time or place

Always starts my fairytales

Hoping to be transported

Failures aborted

Before they are due

No crying over spilled milk

No missing running shoes

In another time or place

This world still wouldn’t have peace

Peace doesn’t always include

Personal will and freedom

Quite simply

Some people are just mean

In another time or place

There is me

Alone in a room

With a pencil

Or pen

Or a crayon

Or marker

Or some lipstick

With plenty of space in paper

Or napkins

Or walls

Or desks

Or floors

Or just my face

To look into the mirror

And see the beauty of words

Day by day

In another time or place

I would still be Blue

Because I hate the color pink

Braille

I am watching your fingers

Stalk across the pages,

Lips curled in appreciation and delight

That so many take for granted–

Eyes that crave flickering images

Abandoning their hard and soft covered children

Orphaning dreams and reality

To be consumed in a world least like their own.

But you–

You are unadulterated

Seemingly cursed but blessed

The least provincial of your kind

Craving for your fingers

To make love to the code that set you free

Bittersweet

Holding your hand
Feeling you slip away
So quickly
In slow motion
My cries cannot be heard
Your smile turns
To screams
Walking away
So bittersweet

Obsequiously

I lived to see your smile
Waited till the phone rang and sang
A very polyphonic “Irish Eyes”
Feeling weak over the silence
Wanting the brightness of your face
Feeling darkness surround me
I tried to stand strong
To pretend that I didn’t need you
Didn’t have to see you
Didn’t have to hear you
Didn’t have to feel you
Becoming a liar day by day
Neglecting the rest of them
Playing your game
Thinking I was above the rest
Believing that you
Held my hand in this sick journey
And wasn’t waiting for The Moment
The moment I would change hands
Forever bound and desires gagged
Vowing myself to someone else
A new friend
A new love
A new worry
A new master

From the Curb…

 

From the curb you kicked me to…

The clouds grimaced above the small town

Rain splatted against the concrete

One drop at a time

I had no umbrella

You were gone

I couldn’t be covered anymore

So I sat outside the diner

Jeans soaked and cheeks cold

Hoping for a glimpse of you

Though not prepared for the sight of you

Shivering from the swinging doors breeze

Wondering why I care at all

About you or about her

But I do

And that provokes me

Week after pathetic week

To have the rain as my tears disguise

Free to Love

I say good-bye when I wish to say hello

My heart has dwelled in the safety of no one’s arms
Perceiving affection for weakness, I become weaker

This heart of mine has suffered
Needing to learn the ways of love
That surpasses understanding

I wish to sing love’s sweet song without hindrance
Without trust issues stamping on my dreams

I wish to be free of me